My View Of Your Screams

Ok, so my boyfriend read me a snippet of what he wrote last night and it got me thinking of what the same kind of thoughts would be like in the form of a poem. So the words are my own but the idea is his. I don't know....I sort of like it because it reminds me of me...but then I also kind of think it could be written better. Oh well...here it is.

"I See Your Screams"

Eyes shut, Dreams of nightmares
Visions of departed souls
The fear I face no one sees
You sleep and no one knows
No one knows but me.

My sleepless nights, my open eyes.
Ever waiting thoughts and dreams.
Ever waiting screams and cries.
All the same situations and themes
I can't take this for very long.

Eyes shut, Dreams of nightmares
Visions of departed souls
The fear I face no one sees
You sleep and no one knows
No one knows but me.

No end in sight, No cure to find.
A cruel joke, no ones laughing
This poisoned soul is only mine.
What you don't know is haunting
Your silent screams are a sign.

Eyes shut, Dreams of nightmares
Visions of departed souls
The fear I face no one sees
You sleep and no one knows
No one knows but me.

This illness captures every fear
The fear you feel, but I see.
The fearful visions that I hear
No one knows, no one knows but me.

Eyes shut, Dreams of nightmares
Visions of departed souls
The fear I face no one sees
You sleep and no one knows
No one knows but me.

Written by me. :-)

The Bliss of The Unknown.

Well, I haven't posted in a while. I told you I wouldn't remember to post everyday...
Well I am again not sure what I want to post about. I just figured I should. I highly doubt anyone reads what I write but....I know no one is following me...haha I guess I actually don't care. I've been pretty sick lately. It started with strep throat...but now I'm very tired all the time and very weak. I can't bring myself to eat very much...that is good in the weight loss department but not great in the health department. So since August 21 I've lost almost 45 pounds. Pretty awesome I think..well some is also from the lack of food..:-/ I've got myself a boyfriend now...:-) He makes me smile. He makes me laugh. He loves me...for me. I feel like I can tell him anything. He makes the world disappear, especially when he kisses me. When I'm feeling down he brings me back up. Just thinking about him makes me smile. Last night he sort of got upset with me...I was trying to clean up after some of our friends left and he didn't want me to clean up anything because I was a guest in his home...and I'm sick. At first I wasn't sure if he was serious, but he was. I'm not used to being catered to...I'm used to taking orders...not making decisions...but this is something I am definitely working on. I have been working on these VERY hard lately. That is probably why I have been so happy lately. Well I'm super tired. So I think I'll leave it at that. Well. Good night. Sweet Dreams. Live YOUR Life. Laugh. Dream Big or Wake Up. Be Yourself. Love Yourself Then Love Others.

That feeling of unforgiving sadness

I don't know what's wrong with me today. I was completely fine until I came home after eating dinner with my family.

I have that feeling of I just want to lay down and cry. Sort of like I'm already crying inside but am to afraid to cry on the outside. I know I fear that if someone asks why I'm crying, I won't be able to give them an answer. I'm also afraid of just telling someone why I'm sad, for fear they will not listen. All these fears can't live in a happy world. I'm crying, but when I touch my face it's dry. The hurt I feel inside has secret unknown origins. Even to me.