Umm...What?

So I haven't written in a while...seems like forever, actually. So I'm trying to get healthy. I'm pretty over-weight so I have started to make different choices. When I got laid off in August I was pretty much at my highest weight ever. Since August I've lost about 35 pounds. I can't believe how much confidence, joy, and energy it has given me. I've sort of hit a plateau now so I've started running. I ran Tuesday-Friday and just walked yesterday, Saturday. MY LEGS HURT SO BAD!! hahaha I guess it's a good thing but my goodness! I am really liking working out. Sometimes I still get worried about people watching me or staring and thinking "eeww...fat girl running" or something stupid like that, but I am getting over it. It takes time for confidence to grow but I must say it is growing each and everyday. I guess I hadn't realized how little confidence I had.

I now am smiling all the time. Ok there are moments when I'm not smiling but for the most part, I smile A LOT more now. Yesterday I ordered some food and was waiting for it up at the counter and my sister was looking at me and I made a funny face and stuck out my tongue. I know with you if there even is a reader out there don't know me but after I did it I thought to myself "why don't I do that more often?" Before I would never do something like that because, heaven forbid, someone might be offended or someone might think less of me. I can't believe I let thoughts like that over run my happiness and joy.

I really hope people start to realize what is inhibiting their happiness and joy, change those actions or thoughts, and change their life for the better. We all want to live better lives don't we? I know I do and I know I want better lives for everyone who is around me. If we want better lives for ourselves and others around us, charity, happiness, and a happier community comes about.

Think about how happy our country would be if we took care of ourselves first, then took care of others in need. If our communities are happier and healthier then our communities can help other communities to learn the same benefits. It would truly be a wonderful world if everyone wanted everyone else to be as happy as they were themselves.

Rain falling up.

Well yesterday after wanting to cry most of the day Scott turned my frown upside down. :-)

I was a little doubtful he could, but I can't help but smile when I'm with him. Well, and he promised to cheer me up so he achieved his goal.

So I've got a whole day ahead of me and I'm not quite sure what to do. Paint, play guitar, write, take dog for a walk, read, be lazy and watch tv, I'm not really sure. There are so many possibilities.

With all the possibilities we have with our days how is it that way can just sit down and cry out worthless? I don't know. But I do know that everyday I have is blessed and will not be taken for granted.

Teardrops raining on my soul.

This is one of those days, as being a girl, you just want to cry. Cry all day long but not tell anyone what is wrong because you're not exactly sure what is wrong. bleh. Ok whatever. I'm sure it just stupid girl emotions.

Visions of the obvious.

So this weekend I went down to visit my friend Jenn in Morro Bay. Had a grand ole time, well, probably to much fun. We went out to eat Saturday night and then after eating some pretty great but SUPER garlicky pasta we went and snooped around the Cayucus cemetery. That was pretty awesome. It was about 8 pm so it was completely dark outside, but it still wasn't scary at all. I took a bunch of photos while I was there too. Sunday we went into old town Morro Bay and saw a psychic. That was pretty interesting. She basically told me that I was in love right now but hadn't said it. But I would say it to him in six weeks. So I guess we will have to wait and see about that one. She told me that I was doing very well in school and that I would get a job soon. She told me I would get married have two miscarriages then have two children. She also told me that I was very sick and should seek a doctor quickly. Well, maybe when I have some health insurance...lol After the psychic, Jenn and I went to Cayucus cemetery again to take pictures in the sunlight and it was even more beautiful. Yes the pic posted is at Cayucus cemetery and yes I did take it. I LOVE the picture!!! After about an hour there we went to Cambria which is a cute tiny town. We walked around for a while and then went and ate a late lunch at an Italian restaurant. The food was great, but yet again pretty garlicky. Thank goodness I wasn't kissing anyone!! haha! After lunch, we walked up a HUGE hill to the Cambria cemetery. AWESOME!!! It was so old it had wooden tombstones! It was really pretty.



After we were done there we went back to her house and I left about 4:30 and got home about 7. The drive was beautiful and totally not even bad!

It was a great weekend and even better Sunday after I got home. Slow dancing to Dean Martin is romantic. And it gives me butterflies.

What a night.

Oh my goodness. Ok so last night what just a mixture of terrible, great, anxiety, and laughter. I went to CSUBs Homecoming dance. Ok I'm not a dancer, party, drinking type of person. At all. I don't like to be around people who drink. I really can't stand drunk people.

Well anyways I got ready in an extreme hurry because instead of having to be there at 11 we all of a sudden had to be there at 8. So anyways I got ready, and left with my friend Maria and we got there at like 8:15. I couldn't get in till 9 because well I couldn't. So I stood out there till 9 and then they let me in...I went and sat down for about 30 minutes, then Maria came and got me and we continued to do her job for about another 30 minutes, we then went outside and sat there for a little bit, this extremely drunk guy came up to Maria and I and was hitting on us...then another guy came up and started to do the same...then another guy...I was like WTF!!??!?! They guys wouldn't leave us alone. They kept going at it for about 20 minutes and then Maria's friend came and we were like "We've got to go inside now!!" And kind of ran inside the hotel and this one guy, get this, ACTUALLY RAN AFTER ME and was yelling the he "never regretted meeting me" and asking me to leave with him and that I would regret if I didn't leave with him. Can we say FREAK!!!!!!! We finally got away from them and went inside and Maria wanted to dance...I don't dance. haha. She thought that she could make me dance...but then realized that I WILL NOT dance..haha. So I wasn't having a very good time...and Maria was dancing with her friend. I was standing off to the side texting Scott...telling how I kind of wanted to die...haha. Needless to say, Scott came and picked me took me home I changed into some regular clothes and then we went to Dennys and I ate some hash browns..they were pretty dang good. Anyways Scott took me home and was just the best guy ever. Ok So that's all I will blab about for now. :-)

No matter how bad things get it can always get better. :-)

The Pounding on the inside..

So I just thought about writing in my blog...and my head started pounding. Not the "eh, I should skip and go to bed" but the "there is a jackhammer somewhere on the inside of my skull and it just turned on with that thought..." So here I am typing away and now I've got the beginnings of a terrible headache...haha.

It's sure funny how we do things no matter the consequences, isn't it?

I think to much about consequences and don't experience very much but from what I see most of the time the bad experiences are never fun. <--No duh huh?

I completely agree with the "Every action has a reaction" theory.

Just like now. If I sit here and continue to type this my headache will get worse...and it's getting worse. I sure wish all consequences exposed themselves so quickly. If so we could turn and run as quick as possible and live better lives but alas we must endure until the end and that is what makes life worth living I guess.

Ok...headache is terrible. Goodnight. Tylenol here I come!!!!!!

Umm...really I dunno.

Ok I don't really know why I did the last post but I really did write something profound. Pretty awesome huh? (Yes, I know I'm a dork...) I really do not know what to write today but I just wanted to update...

I did some writing yesterday...which....I already wrote about on here I just realized...oh well. But I shared it with a close friend..I've never done that before. Shared my work with anyone. Not ever..haha. I didn't want to at first but then just told myself "What the heck...all he can say is it sucks or something...it won't kill me!!" So I sent it to him and I think he liked it! Well, that's what he said at least. :) Well I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted...school is draining...haha. I also haven't eaten since 11 am...I somehow forgot to eat dinner...haha Whoops! Ok goodnight!!

Um....I dunno.

Something Profound.

California Dreamin'

So I had a crazy dream last night that kind of freaked me out but then I started thinking about it and piecing everything together. It's a really great opening to a novel. So I've started to write everything down and what not. Wrote about a page tonight which isn't very much but considering it was between making dinner (which was AMAZING by the way) watching tv, and messing around on facebook and other site isn't too bad. It feels great to write again. I haven't done it in so long I think I had started to forget the release it gives me. Okie doke. Well I'm uber tired and want to sleep....hopefully I have another crazy dream!!! That would be awesome! Goodnight!

Drawing a blank...

Hmm...I really don't know what to write.

Tonight was pretty disappointing. I thought I was going to go somewhere so I took a shower and did my hair and make up and nothing. No call, no message, nothing. I guess I'll be studying tonight.

There are always ups and downs I guess but it sure does suck when the downs happen. I guess it's ok when they do though because then how would I know the difference then something grand is happening.

I thank God everyday for my insight, even when it is something strange.

Ok. Off to study....by myself.